Unproductive Day

So, today was very unproductive for me. I like to get shit done on my days off everyweek but it was so hot outside that I didn't want to leave the comfort of my central air. I pretty much just Facebooked and had a lazy day. I guess it's not necessarily a bad thing. I signed up for weekly emails from this online program for people with Panic Disorder. Today's was very interesting. The first thing you need to do is tell yourself to have a panic attack it said. People with this disorder constantly fear having one so they try to prepare themselves to automatically have one. So to change the cycle of thinking, it said to tell yourself to have one. It will stop the normal cycle of thinking in your brain. So, I thought what the hell. I left tonight to run to the store and as I was on John Glen Boulevard, where I usually start to feel panic, I told myself to have one. I didn't. Maybe this will be a start. Let's hope. Tonight we decided to order out. I figured we could get pizza and wings. Something simple, we haven't had it in a while. 2 of the three places we called wouldn't deliver because it was so slow. Sean got mad and was telling them how they were losing business. I just wanted to hurry the hell up and find another place. I am so impatient. I think it ties in with the anxiety. I started looking up special "words of wisdom" today. Maybe that will help during panic. Let's hope this is the day to a new beginning.